You Suck!

Three Ways to Avoid Heartache

Let's cut right to the chase. I'm a lifelong fan of the following N.Y. sports teams: Mets, Jets, Knicks. I know, I know, shame on me. You really don't know pain and suffering until you've become a fan of the aforementioned teams. Think about it, if you're a fan of other teams in the three major U.S. sports, you'll find at least ONE who has given you hope over the years. Grab a U.S. map, point out a state where multiple professional sports franchises compete and I can assure you'll find a team that has experienced moderate success in recent years. 

My fandom began young; maybe around seven or eight-years old and I've lived through plenty of heartbreak. While girls were busy breaking the hearts of boys, my three favorite teams were giving me a taste of heartbreak, bitterness, angst, IN ADDITION to my puppy-love heartbreak experiences. Nice. It leaves me to wonder: HOW DID I EVEN MAKE IT THIS FAR? Despite the moderate successful playoff runs of my teams, FIVE presidents have been in office since any of them last won a championship, 'Walk Like an Egyptian' topped the Billboard charts, Top Gun was the highest grossed film and ALF  was on my TV set! Can you guess the year?

19-80-friggin'- 6!!!

How is this fair? Oh, and by the way, the Mets were the team to achieve that feat in the wonderful year of '86. Take a bow, fellas.

When was the last time the others raised a championship? I'm SO glad you asked.

Jets:  1969
Knicks: 1973

I was still swimming around doing backstrokes with my "siblings," if you catch my drift...

To be fair, the Knicks dominated throughout the 90s, reaching the NBA Finals twice (1994 vs Houston; 1999 vs San Antonio). The Mets have given its fans a handful of playoff runs over the last three decades, even reaching the World Series in 2000 and 2015. As for the Jets (queue the violins)... boy oh boy, those Jets. Well, they've been OK. There were a few exciting moments in the 2000s/early 2010s (BTW, I still feel they should've kept Rex Ryan as head coach - sorry), but they've been more of a laughing stock than anything else. As of this blog post, the Jets currently stand at 0-5! The ONLY thing preventing me from losing my sh*t is that there are two other win-less teams at the moment: Falcons, and the N.Y. GIANTS!  (another bad N.Y. team??... good grief!).

The bottom line to this rant? Have a contingency plan.

1) Find a 'Team 1-A'; In addition to the NY teams, I'm also a Dodgers, Raiders, Lakers fan (AHEM! pre LeBron - Magic Johnson is my all-time favorite player, and I rooted hard for those Nick Van Exel/Cedric Ceballos/Vlade Divac teams of the early 90s).

2) Never become a "diehard"; simply watch and enjoy sports for the entertainment aspect.

3) Don't become a sports fan at all! (or, consistently jump on the bandwagon of winning teams), that way you'll avoid heartache, likely adding a few more years to your life expectancy.

I'm on a quest to make one of my teams. I get it, I'm old and washed up, but I'm a free agent and I have something to prove.